Many parents delay or avoid divorce entirely because they worry about how their marital split will affect their children. They have this idea that their kids will never be happy again after the family breakup. As parents, they choose to not be happy in their marriage just so that they can give their children some stability.
If you feel this way, it’s wonderful that you want your children to be happy and that you’re putting them first — but staying in an unhappy marriage isn’t necessary. Your children can recover from the temporary emotional blow of their parents’ divorce quite well.
The science says most children adapt
First and foremost, the idea that parents should remain married for the sake of the children is a fallacy. The actual science doesn’t back that up. Studies have looked at children with no lasting negative effects from divorce and found that outcome in a massive 80% of cases. Most children adapt and are just fine in terms of mental health, social adjustment, grades in school and the like.
Secondly, you need to remember that children are not necessarily happy just because their parents are together. They can tell that you and your spouse aren’t happy. If you don’t get along, it can put a lot of stress on them. Marriage is not necessarily better than divorce.
Even when parents do not live under the same roof, children do better when they have two happy, involved and invested parents who care about them. Getting divorced may actually put you in a better position to offer that type of care than staying married.
Do you know what steps to take?
If you’re now thinking it’s time for divorce, it’s important to learn about all of the legal steps you should take. A better understanding of the divorce process can make every step go more smoothly. Speak with an experienced advocate as soon as practical.